Unfortunately I experience many days where my duties as mom, wife, cook, maid, daughter, and friend are mere lackluster performances. I want so badly to be totally awesome and rock my duties every single day, but that just isn’t reality. And lets face it…some days just really stink for us ladies. Some days we totally rock….and some days we don’t. It’s the really stinky days that get me down the most. I’m sure all moms can relate to that. Let’s face it, the devil thrives on stinky days in the lives of moms. He knows that so many of us judge ourselves too harshly, and feel that we need to be perfect moms, teachers, wives, chefs, friends, etc. So he loves to sneak up on us during our stinky days and assist us in tearing ourselves down. I say assist because if we’re being honest we can admit that so many of those negative thoughts about ourselves, start with ourselves. The devil likes to light a fire under those thoughts. He doesn’t want us to feel worthy of our children, or our husbands, or our titles, or all that we’ve been blessed with. He just doesn’t want us to be happy. He can easily cause that stinky day to spill over into the next week if we aren’t careful. No one is perfect! No wife is perfect! No mom is perfect! And guess what…that is okay! Ladies, we don’t have to be perfect. If your kids didn’t get breakfast this morning and you sent them to school with a pb&j rather than the healthy meal you intended to prepare….it is okay. If you ordered pizza for dinner because you were too tired to cook supper for the family tonight…it is okay. If your laundry is piled ten stories high and you’ve been washing the same load for the past three days because you keep forgetting its in the washing machine…it is okay! It is okay to be imperfect! God did not create us to be perfect or to always do things best. If he had, we wouldn’t need Jesus. Love you! Love your imperfect self and have fun doing it. I know sometimes that is really hard to do, but we have to grow to a place where we know that it is okay and we are loved no matter what.
So, for those super stinky days we tend to have, The Far From Perfect Mommy Blogger has some great motivation!
God Bless! & remember…YOU ROCK!!!
Can I be brutally honest? Well, of course I can…it is my blog after all. I’ve been surfing the internet a good bit here lately; you know just checkin’ out the scene. Well, I keep seeing all these posts (esp. on pinterest) on How to be a fun mom. Seriously?!? The first time I came across one I didn’t even think about it. The second and third times I was like, “hmmm…a fun mom…sure, I’m fun. I don’t need to read it.” But then I kept on seeing these things, and it hit me. “Who Cares!!” That’s actually what I said aloud. Who cares if you are fun?! And who defines what makes you a ‘fun mom’? I get that we are all women, moms, girls at heart who just want to be loved. Right?? We want people to like us. We want our families to be pleased with us and think highly of us. We want our kids to think we’re fun; and when they are teenagers, we want them to think we’re cool. I mean, we’re only human. But get real! Don’t fall for that load of bologna! God calls us moms for so much more than just being a ‘fun mom’. He calls us to grow our children, to train them in His ways, to be good and productive citizens, and even more productive Christians. He doesn’t call us to be fun. Being fun and having fun is a plus, a reward, an extra, a privilege. It is not and never should be our goal in raising our children. The internet and social media is great for connecting to others and full of amazing resources and ideas. However, some things you run across will bog you down and make you feel like a failure. That may sound a tad bit harsh, but it is 100% true if you’re honest with yourself. The way I see it is if you’re trying to be a ‘fun mom’, that means you’re allowing your children to lead you and judge you based on your fun-ability. Kids are not designed to be leading the parents. We see way too much of that in today’s society. A mom’s job is to love and care for her children. To teach her children to love, respect, and serve Christ. Her job is to educate her children as much as possible. Then, when the work is finished there is always time to put on the “fun mom hat” for a little while.
If you asked me if I thought I was a ‘fun mom’, I would say no. I am a mom first. Then a teacher to my child. Once those jobs are under control and the business is handled, I love to have fun with my daughter. But never will I define myself as a ‘fun mom’. You may not agree with me, and you very well my view this topic from the other side of the spectrum, which I think is great and totally respect. But I think this is a side that needs to be addressed. When I see articles and postings entitled “How To Be A Fun Mom”, I feel disappointed and degraded. It feels like some people out there have chalked our jobs, as moms, up to just being fun. As if that is all that matters. As if that is the one, true importance in mothering. As if we are meant for nothing more.
This year for Christmas I decided that I really wanted to bless my husband and child with something more than just gifts on Christmas day. So, I decided this year that for our daughter we do 12 days of blessings to count down the last 12 days till Christmas. Each night she will unwrap a book that we will read together. Some night will include special activities. On Christmas Eve her last gift to unwrap will be new pajamas and a movie for us to have a special family Christmas movie night. I am so excited for this! That was easy…coming up with something to do for my husband wasn’t so easy! He too will be receiving Christmas blessings, but in a slightly different way. Instead of getting a gift every day for the last 12 days until Christmas, beginning tonight, he will randomly receive gifts up until Christmas. Some of the gifts are quite simple, while others are a bit more special. My goal in this was to truly bless my husband and show him how special he is to me, while all the while keeping the cost down. (Which I am proud to say I did!…the cost part at least.) I do hope that this makes him feel loved and appreciated. I’m not sharing what all I got him for this, but I’ll post photos as he receives the gifts. I don’t want him finding out what all he is getting before he gets it!
With all this planning I’ve been doing for this, I thought I would share some other great ideas I’ve run across for doing something very similar in case any of you want to do this for your husbands. I also thought these things could be done at other times during the year as well!
Spouse Christmas Countdown
12 Days of Christmas Punch Poster
Coupon Date Night
December Weekend Movie Dates (This could be done at home or go to the theater. The idea is that each weekend you and your spouse have 1 movie date night. If you do this at home you could prepare his favorite meal, order out, make special snacks, etc. Get creative!)
12 Days of Christmas Scavenger Hunt (Each day your spouse gets a clue either leading to a daily small gift, or just giving hints about some of his gifts under the tree for Christmas day.)
Date Night Jar (Write date night ideas on popsicle sticks and place in a mason jar. Maybe make a cute tag and tie a ribbon on your jar. Place all the sticks in the jar, and once a week let your spouse pull a stick from the jar. Whatever is on the stick is what y’all do for your date night.)
Hope you enjoy! Please share some of your ideas on how to bless your husband either throughout the year or during the holiday season!
Ladies, lets be honest…we live in a dangerous world and it is hard to trust anyone these days. So we have to face that facts that we always need to be prepared for the unexpected. I know a lot of us hear stories of women being abducted and raped, but we think..”that would never happen around here, especially to me”. Wrong! I could happen here! And it could happen to you! I came across this posting that every woman needs to read. This article could very well save your life some day!
Happy Hump Day!
I think we can all admit that in today’s culture (for the most part), sex is a pretty casual topic. Forms of pornography are literally everywhere! Even on facebook now! More and more people seem to think it is okay. Well, it isn’t. In no way, shape, or form is it acceptable according to God’s standards. Of course I realize that many in today’s world aren’t all that concerned with God’s standards, but rather our own. I find that very sad. People can argue until they are blue in the face and pass out, but the simple truth is that pornography is a problem and it is never okay. I honestly never even knew what it was until I got into college. The more I would hear about it or see pornographic advertisements, the sicker it made me feel. Quite honestly I felt a little confused about it. I felt like it was wrong, yet so many people said it was okay, or it was only ok in certain circumstances. I didn’t understand why people wanted to watch it, so I began asking people (people whom I trusted) if they thought pornography was bad or sinful. None of them confirmed what I felt about it. Not one! And although these people were friends, I just wasn’t comforted with the idea of it. Over time God revealed me that it is wrong and sinful, and it hurts people. It doesn’t just hurt the viewer, but those around them as well. He also taught me that it is an addiction and people can be over-taken by it…just like drugs. But I think the most important thing I learned about it was that those who do find themselves under its influence aren’t bad people. Those people know it’s wrong…they feel guilt and shame from it…and the correct response is not to shame them more or shun them, but to love them and help them. That is why I am so glad to see Lysa TerKeurst‘s post about this issue. As women of God, we need to take a stand for our marriages, for our husbands, for our families, and for our beliefs…God’s word and commandment. Her post comes from an article by Jake Larson, and I believe everyone needs to hear the message. Whether you have experience dealing with pornography or not you need to read it. Whether you are in the middle of trying to help your husband through the battle or not…you need to read it. Because ladies…the ugly truth is that this stuff is everywhere! Satan has planted this all over our world because he knows how strong the temptation can be. None of us are immune to this. None of our husbands or marriages are immune to this. Jake answers some tough questions in this post, but he does a great job…and I love his honesty.
Interested in following Jake? You can follow him at www.jakelarson.com.
I don’t post on such risque topics often, but I felt this needed to be shared. Too often women feel ashamed of sharing these struggles. It shouldn’t be that way. We should be there to support one another, to lift up one another, and to share our successes and struggles with one another.
Looking for a way to bless your hubby this year? Maybe just a way to say “thanks for being awesome!”. Go check out All Our Days. She has a great post called 12 Days of Christmas: Bless My Husband. You don’t have to use all the ideas she has listed. You could come up with your own. But isn’t this a wonderful idea! I love the thought of doing something special for the hubs around Christmas time. Sometimes we forget how important it is to do special things for our spouse. We always focus on doing things for the kids, but the best thing we could ever do for our kids is to have a strong marriage that teaches them what love truly looks like. One of the great things about this blog posting is that you will notice that she didn’t spend a fortune on this stuff. She was wise with her money, and made a little go a long way. You don’t have to get 12 days of extravagant gifts…just 12 days of thoughtful gifts that show you and the kids care and appreciate him.