How We Raise Our Daughter

Oh yes, you already know this is going to be an interesting topic.  Just look at the title, right!  I know a ton of people who will read this and think we are nuts, but guess what…you’re not the first, last, or only.  However, I felt it was important to be clear on where our family currently stands on some things.  I do not intend to offend anyone, and nothing is directed at anyone, this is just my usual honesty is the best policy.  I like to be very open about who I am and what my family stands for…or against.  I use to be a sugar-coater, heavy on the sugar, but God has truly changed my life in that area.  So, if your up for reading this great…if not…that’s good too.  I understand either way.  You may agree with me on some things, and on others you may leave this article wanting to disassociate with me.  I hope the latter isn’t true, but I’m not writing this for any certain person or group of people, I’m writing for myself, my family and God.

So, here are a few of our thoughts as we continue the journey of parenting in our home, in our way.

  1. We strive to base all of our parenting off of God’s word and his will for our lives.
  2. We do not dote on outward beauty, but inward.  What girl doesn’t like to hear how pretty she looks?!  However, we strive to not always comment our daughter on that, and we prefer others not too as well.  Comment on her attitude, her heart, her personality, her desire to serve, her love of God, etc.  We want to point out the qualities in her that truly matter.  The ones that God laid in her heart, the ones that will guide her as she grows, not the ones the world seems to practically worship now days.
  3. We don’t do sleep-overs with friends.  Sorry, nothing personal!  At this time we do not believe it is wise to send our daughter off to other homes over night.  Growing up, when I went to sleep overs, we had a great time…a great time gossiping, discussing boys, and other things we probably should NOT have been talking about.  We desire to guard our daughter’s heart as long as possible and to the best of our abilities.  We aren’t saying your home isn’t fit for our child, or that your child is a bad influence.  We just know from experience that it opens doors to things we don’t want our daughter getting caught up in, especially at such a young age.  They are only small for so long.  We believe we need to cherish that time and spend as much of it together has a family as we can.
  4. We do not do ‘boyfriends’.  We desire our daughter to enter into an appropriate boy/girl relationship the way God intended it to be, which is often referred to as courting.  We pray often about this.  We do not want to see our daughter caught up in relationships and the dating world that so many young people enter into.  Even at the age of six, we talk about appropriate friendships with boys, but that God doesn’t desire for us to have boyfriends/girlfriends at such a young age.  We pray that our daughter will choose God’s way for her life, and as she gets older, be able to form healthy, pure friendships with the opposite sex and share with us any interest in a friend she might one day have.  In turn we also pray for her future spouse, and any courting relationship that she might have.
  5. We believe it is important to teach self-control from a very early age.  We never allow an excuse for bad behavior.  Yes, we might be hungry and tired, but we have to have self-control at all times.  No bad mood is every an excuse for being ugly or disrespectful.  Now, do we expect our child to be perfect?  NO WAY!!  Even mom and dad are cranky some days.  However, that is never an excuse worthy of that behavior.  As our daughter has grown she has gotten better at this, and will continue to do so.  She will never be perfect, we simply try to train her to be pleasing to God.  (This is just one character value we teach in our home.  There are many equally important ones.)
  6. We homeschool and believe in it 100%.  Maybe it isn’t right for you and God has not called you to this lifestyle.  For us, it is a calling from God.  A very distinct calling!  So please, respect that just as we respect others choice to not homeschooling.  If you think we are crazy…that’s okay…we don’t mind that.  (lol)
  7. Sometimes we have to tell you ‘no’.  Unfortunately, there are times that we have to tell friends ‘no’.  We just can’t spend every available minute at birthday parties and other functions.  As fun as they are, and as much as we hate to have to say no, we do.  Our family comes second to God, and if we’ve been busy lately and we get invited to gatherings, or a birthday party, we have to decline.  We have to invest our lives in each other and our daughter before we can fully invest your life.  Otherwise, we are doing no one justice.  Know we are celebrating with you in heart and spirit though!
  8. Please discipline our child if you see the need.  We believe it takes a village.  If you see my child misbehave, please correct her behavior.  Of course we expect it to be done with a loving heart as God calls us, but it definitely needs to be done.  Leaving bad behavior uncorrected tells a child that it is acceptable.  That is never okay.  God calls us as parents to discipline our children.
  9. We currently have cable television in our home.  However, my husband and I are prayerfully considering removing it.  Just because we have it doesn’t mean it is a free-for-all.  We try as best we can to set time limits on our daughter’s viewing, and we definitely set rules in terms of what she is viewing.  We too strive to abide by the rules that if it isn’t appropriate for her eyes, it isn’t for ours either.  Unfortunately, television has gotten so corrupt today we feel it may being doing families more harm than good.  There are many “kid” shows we do not allow in our home because they are not truly meant for children, nor do they represent any of the qualities we strive to teach.
  10. We strive to keep an open line of communication.  We believe that our daughter should be able to freely, and honestly talk to us about anything.  Likewise, we are always very honest with her and strive to always give her wise counsel.

I hope I didn’t scare you away with all of that, but I’m sure it gives you a little bit better idea of who our family is, and what we are all about.  Parenting is never easy and we are all just trying to do our best.

God Bless!

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