I wanted to share with y’all a journal entry I came across the other day that I hadn’t shared with you and forgot I had written. The entry from the day I found this one will follow.
Sept. 24, 2012
Thank you Lord for showing me what it means to be content in you. Thank you for the peace you bring in the midst of life’s roughest storms.
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:12-13
You could almost say that those two verses were our sermon Sunday. Truth be told, they were. There was more to it, but for my heart, that sums it up pretty well. If you would have asked me last week if I was content with my life, I would have answered, “Yes!”. I then would have gone on a little about why, and then I would have thrown in a very tiny ‘but clause’ at the end of that reasoning. I would have said, “I love our home, but we would like to make a few changes.”…or…”My husband makes decent money, but we could really use more.”…or…”I love and adore my precious daughter, and we are so thankful for her, but we would love to have more children.” See what I mean?! Those answers do not sound like something you would hear from someone who is content. I really thought I was, but man did God open my eyes to the truth. So my prayer Sunday was this:
“Lord, I haven’t been content. I thought I was, but now I see the truth. Thank you for opening my eyes to your truth! I want to be content, God. I come before you, laying it all at your feet. I give my worries, Lord. I give you our finances. I give you my husbands job situation. I give you the sell of our home. Lord, I give you our fertility issues. I’m letting go, Lord. Your will is my heart’s desire. I will be content in you. I will trust you, and I will be faithful. Thank you for what you’ve done for me and my family, Lord. Give us wisdom to always follow your truth and your will. Amen.”
Letting go of all of those things felt empowering. It’s something I struggled with God over for a very long time. I know struggles will still arise, but I know that God has it under control.