In a previous post about having a pinterest addiction, I talked about that mom-guilt and how no mom nor their families are perfect. What you see online is what people choose for you to see. My MOPS e-mail was about that very thing! So..I just have to share it!
Giving Up On Perfection
by Kathi Lipp, mom and stepmom of 4
I may have to give up reading blogs.
Once again I’ve stumbled across a blog that my friend LOVES, and it’s all about a perfect family who look perfect, who are making their clean eating, sugar-free snacks (from scratch) as they do EVERY DAY, living on their pseudo-farm, where not only are they all hard workers, but their kids are all gifted. And there are plenty of Instagram photos to document all this perfect-ness.
It feels like a bunch of mini-Marthas trying to out-perfect each other, and I have to say it concerns me.
WE are not designed to be perfect.”
When all we are seeing is the perfect slice of a person’s life, it can make us, the reader, a regular mom, feel like there is something wrong with us because WE aren’t perfect. I live with daily evidence of my imperfection:
- My kids talk back to me.
- No one ever offers to do chores.
- I’m happy if I get dinner on the table (even if part of it
came from a box).
- I may have (just possibly) watched a little too much TV
- My second child has exactly one page of her scrapbook
But here’s the thing: WE are not designed to be perfect.
Let me see your dirty laundry.
Tell me about that cobbler that tasted like actual shoes.
Tell me about the time you messed up as a mom.
And let me know that you are being the best mom you can be, leaning on a community of moms, and asking for help and grace from others and God.
This e-mail could not have been more perfect for me today! At our MOPS meeting this morning, my group was discussing this very thing! Mom-Guilt!! It is a terrible thing that we all get from time to time. But we need to realize that no mother is perfect…God did not design us to be perfect wives, daughters, sisters, aunts, friends, or even mothers. Of course we think we NEED to be perfect…and our children NEED to be perfect…and since we aren’t we just NEED to look perfect. NOT!! That is all wrong! We need to be real! The truth is what connects people. If I’m being real with you, I’ll tell you that if you came in my house today, you would wonder if it were really my home. It is a hot mess ladies! You would also see that our schooling here lately has been super lax and a little too easy most days. You would also see dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, dust on the mantle, a poorly decorated front porch, a dying plant in the window, a desk covered with school papers and binders and little notes, a half empty pantry, clothes in the washer that had to be washed twice because I forgot they were in there, an extra bedroom full of JUNK, and a kid’s room with toys and dolls scattered everywhere. Does that sound perfect to you? It doesn’t to me…but that’s because I’m not perfect. I forget things a lot! We have way too much on our plates most of the time! My kid makes huge messes that we don’t always make her clean right up! …and I could go on and on with all of MY imperfections. Yes, I love for my home to look perfect and always be neat and tidy, but I’m not perfect, therefore it can NOT be perfect either. As moms, we just have to learn to step back and enjoy life sometimes instead of always trying to run it. Some days we need to just live it.