I have been warned that as a homeschooling family, there will be bad days. Some will be slightly bad, others will be really bad, and some will be so bad you will shut it down for the day…maybe even the week. Well, I’m hear to tell you those people ain’t lyin’! Today was bad day in the Kees household. We did survive our school hour, but not without a little time out to step away from the situation. My daughter had a HUGE attitude today! We had only been working on school stuff for about 10 minutes when I ordered her to the corner. It was more to keep me from getting angry with her than it was to punish her. Disrespect is something I do not put up with…and she knows this. So, as she cried in the corner I explained the hows and whys, all why giving myself a chill pill. Once we both calmed down a little more, I called her back over and asked her what was bothering her, and why she felt the need to act in such a manner. Turns out she was in a crabby mood and quite cranky. Reason…at 7am this morning she had a terrible dream that left her awake in tears, disturbing her quite slumber. She had tried to go back to sleep, but couldn’t so she stayed in bed and watched a movie for a while, before she got up. I was glad to hear that she was able to understand why she was behaving so rudely, and that she shouldn’t have done what she had. However, I had to explain to her that we all have bad days, and we all feel grumpy and tired, but we have to have self-control. We can’t just go around treating people bad because we feel crummy. I then explained to her that when I realize I’m in a not so nice mood, I take a little time to myself and talk to God about it, and ask him to help me get in a better mood. She liked that idea. So school went on just fine, and then lunch and outside, etc. Nap time came, which I knew she needed, and it ran smoothly. After nap she seemed to have a slightly better attitude. However, I was slightly off in that judgement apparently. She was still grumpy, but we worked around it…until…it all came to a head at 6pm. I put on the news, and the child lost it with me! I calmly told her that behavior was unacceptable and she needed to go to her room until she could work through it. So off she went crying. I could hear her sitting in her room just crying …and crying…and crying. And it only got louder and more hysterical. I honestly felt terrible for her, yet at the same time completely frustrated. I had a brief moment where I began questioning myself as mom, and as teacher. I couldn’t help but wonder what I could have done differently, and if I should even be homeschooling. It was then that God quickly reminded me that I am never done working on myself in terms of parenting, but that I most assuredly should be homeschooling. I was then reminded of the fact that there will be rough days in this journey. And I am so thankful that my dear friend told me that. Otherwise, I may have crumbled under such terrible thoughts that I was doing something I couldn’t. Once my sweet girl finished crying, she emerged from her room and we talked again. As I got up and went into the kitchen to check on dinner, she came to me and apologized for her behavior and admitted that she was wrong for it. My heart melted. I hugged her up and told her I forgave her and I love her. I also told her how much it meant to me that she recognized that on her own, and took the initiative to come apologize and admit her failure. That was my reassurance, yet again, that this choice is right for our family. What a mighty God we serve! I am happy to admit that attitudes here are much better, and we will all be going to bed happy.
I discovered a lesson for myself in all of this today. Actually a few lessons.
- I am never perfect, and I need to always keep working on staying calm when it comes to parenting.
- I have bad attitude days too, but I don’t have a parent to bring it to my attention and correct me. I have to watch myself, and always be cautious in how I act, treat others, and respond to different situations whether my attitude be great that day, or totally rotten.
- I was also reminded that even as a child of God, I mess up daily. I am sinful. I need God’s forgiveness each and every single day, without fail.
I am so thankful for the love and forgiveness of my Father!